My Journey With Ovarian Cysts

I’ve been meaning to blog more, but recent health concerns have left me wiped out and off balance, and it’s only today that I’m finally feeling clear enough to write my thoughts. How about you? Has the coming of spring filled you with a sense of renewal and the urge to write?

I hope you are getting a lot of writing done, and working on your “passion projects”: a nonfiction book, or novel, a memoir, songs, solo shows, plays, poetry and so on...

Creative freelance writing is so varied and takes on so many different forms and genres; that’s what keeps it interesting!

The above photo is a lovely scene taken on the first day of spring here in the Hudson Valley. This peaceful serene setting is quite a contrast to the turmoil in my heart surrounding my annual gynecological exam, the one where my complex ovarian cyst is evaluated for anything suspicious.

My journey with ovarian cysts began eight years ago. In the spring of 2004, I had been experiencing some dysfunctional uterine bleeding and when I went to the gynecologist to look into the cause, my pelvic ultrasound revealed some interesting information that would put me on the path to ovarian cancer awareness...

It turns out my abnormal bleeding was due to an endometrial polyp that was then removed that summer; however, doctors discovered I also had a complex cyst inside my right ovary. At that time, I had no knowledge whatsoever about ovarian cysts, and didn’t realize that complex ovarian cysts sometimes turn out to be cancerous.

As I began researching ovarian cysts, I felt terror sweep through me as I read message boards and articles about the malignant potential of complex ovarian cysts. It was such a scary time for me. As I searched for information, I realized how terrified and confused other women are about their own ovarian cysts. It can be hard to find accurate information online and there’s a lot of misinformation about the disease, which is often overlooked, misdiagnosed and not found until the later stages, when ovarian cancer is often deadly.

When my complex ovarian cyst was discovered, I went into a “watch and wait” period to see if the cyst looked like anything that was, or might become, ovarian cancer. This “watch and wait” period has been going on now for eight years. I’ve had about a dozen transvaginal (and abdominal) ultrasounds in the last eight years, one MRI, and several CA 125 blood tests, and so far, after much evaluation, it doesn’t look like anything to worry about.

But I’m still in watchful waiting. And I’ll admit: eight years, it feels like a long time to “watch and wait.” I’ve grown weary of transvaginal ultrasounds, and wondering about test results. I just wanted to be free of the whole burden. In the spring 2010, my test results showed my cyst was unchanged since 2006.

So I am ashamed to say out of weariness and a bit of “watch and wait” fatigue, I got complacent about ovarian cancer awareness. I didn’t keep my yearly appointment with the gynecologist out of fears I might have to endure another pelvic ultrasound (my last one had been very uncomfortable, but in medical speak it’s often referred to as a “painless procedure”).

Then something awful happened: I recently experienced a few weeks of dysfunctional uterine bleeding. I felt horrified. Women of all ages sometimes experience a little abnormal bleeding and it can be nothing unusual, especially for ladies past 35 in their perimenopausal years. Yet I knew that abnormal vaginal bleeding can be a sign of cancer. This chill went through me and I knew I should have kept my yearly appointment; it’s been over two years since I’ve been examined.

I saw the gynecologist on April 19. She ordered a pelvic ultrasound for that very day! I was over the moon with joy, because this time it was just the transvaginal ultrasound, without any transabdominal ultrasound first. If you’ve read my other posts here about ovarian cancer awareness, you know that I absolutely hate drinking the copious amounts of water needed for the abdominal part of the ultrasound.

I had my test and descended into the usual worry spiral I feel waiting for the results, with my fears compounded by the dysfunctional uterine bleeding. I didn’t have to wait very long though. My gynecologist called just a few days later to let me know what was happening with my body: left ovary normal, right complex ovarian cyst to her surprise was actually smaller, but she found a few small fibroids and a polyp in my uterus.

Then she gave me the alternatives to deal with the uterine polyp which can cause bleeding: I could have a hysteroscopy (which uses a camera), or a saline sonogram with a catheter, or we could follow up in a few cycles with more ultrasound. Which kind of reminds me of that old “Let’s Make a Deal” game show where you could pick from a few options.

I instinctively chose door number three, the less invasive option. I said I wanted to wait and follow up in a few months. Then I researched the tests online, and I’m glad I had the option to wait, because these procedures seem scary and painful. Back in 2004 I had an endometrial biopsy, another so called “simple painless in office procedure,” and folks, it was not all sunshine, rainbows and unicorns.

It was invasive, psychologically disturbing and excruciatingly painful. It was just horrible! So I was really sweating it out, in anticipation of having to endure more of these medical procedures. The tension was really building in me. My doctor said to call her in a week if I was still bleeding.

Fortunately, after the week went by, my dysfunctional uterine bleeding disappeared on its own! Hurray! I have no abnormal bleeding, my complex ovarian cyst is shrinking, and Thursday, I had a normal mammogram! Life is GOOD!

However, I won’t forget the lessons learned from this experience. I had become far too complacent about ovarian cancer awareness. After coming so far to educate myself about this deadly killer of a disease, the last two years I’ve really buried my head in the sand. I was OVER the whole thing: the tests, my fears, and the worry about having ovarian cancer.

But ovarian cancer is called “the silent killer.” It doesn’t take time off. The potential for the disease is still there, even if I chose to ignore the issue. It isn’t proactive for me to ignore the issue of ovarian cancer simply because I’m tired of watching my cyst.

I’ve been reading a lot lately about how the medical community is divided on the issue of whether or not complex ovarian cysts can turn cancerous. For example, if my ovarian cyst looks benign today, as I age across the decades, could that complex cyst one day develop into cancer? When I asked my doctor if she thought my cyst could one day be cancerous, she replied: “It’s possible, that’s why we follow it.”

So that was a changing day for me. I’ll never stick my head in the sand again about ovarian cancer and my ovarian cyst. I’d like you to do the same also. If you feel you might have symptoms of ovarian cancer (which you can read about on sites like ocrf.org, the Ovarian Cancer Research Fund has a Fact Sheet) please visit your doctor promptly for a full medical evaluation. If your doctor dismisses you, and something doesn’t feel right, then find more doctors and knock on as many doors as possible until you get answers and proper treatment!

The slogan of ovarian cancer awareness is: “Ovarian cancer whispers, so listen.” Listen to those subtle signs within your own body. Also, if you are being monitored for a complex ovarian cyst, or anything else, please don’t become complacent. Keep your appointments; don’t hide your head in the sand, hoping for the best. Regular screenings are the best way to catch any potential problems early, when they are more treatable.

Note: This blog post and all other blog entries about my health and journey to ovarian cancer awareness represent my own opinions, research, and personal experiences. My book and blogs are not intended to treat or diagnose any medical conditions. Please consult with a qualified physician if you have any questions or concerns about your own health.

For further reading about my journey with ovarian cysts, read the posts on this blog and my Soul Tripper blog labeled “Ovarian Cancer Awareness.”

My Soul Tripper book has a whole chapter about my journey to ovarian cancer awareness titled: “Close Encounters of the Ovarian Kind.”